How Long, O Lord?
To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.
How long will you xhide your face from me?
clest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”
lest my foes rejoice because I am dshaken.
my heart shall frejoice in your salvation.
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Do you ever feel like you just have to wait forever for something your heart deeply desires? Do you ever feel like you just can't win over the dark feelings inside? Like at the end of the day nobody really cares enough about you to show it to you?
I hurt sometimes. Lots of people don't think I do because I'm a 'positive' and 'upbeat' person. I'm a person who 'has it all together', according to some and a person who is stable and confident in who she is. Let me tell you something: I am not that. I am fragile, weak and constantly asking "How long, O Lord, how long?"
Asking this question in my heart drives me crazy, because when I look to my left and to my right I see people with REAL problems, REAL struggles and REAL heartache. Hurting for silly things in life seems to be so trivial and selfish that I can't stand myself sometimes. The beginning of this passage is what my heart feels like sometimes; a longing that causes a dull ache inside me.
----------------But I have trusted in your steadfast love....---------------
Sometimes it is SO HARD to trust in God's plan. I have found myself struggling with this daily lately. I want my heart to be able to rejoice and I know that he has blessed me bountifully in so many areas of my life. But its hard.
I am encouraged, because while I feel like I am failing at trusting God I know that I still do it, despite my heart wanting to do its own thing. I know this because things work out; rarely as I expect them to, but they do work out. And it has always been for the better.
So I wait. And I trust. And I know that everything will be....exactly as it should.
